It’s a few months since I talked about my divorce on Adorngirl, and about five months since we broke up from our 15 year relationship. Even though it is not something I don’t feel like I am hung up on, it has to be the underlying reason that I am not o.k. I am not going to wail and whine about my hard life being a single mum with four kids, I appreciate that I have a lot of blessings, and there are people in the world who really are worse off. Right now, I am not o.k. I find it hard to sleep, I get over emotional about the smallest things, and I really feel like all the pressure is crushing me a bit at a time. But that’s o.k. Life can be shit, as well as amazing, and sometimes it is completely fine to say, no I am not alright, and I don’t feel like smiling. As much as it is so important to re programme yourself to look at the positives in life, ( I am really having a good go at the happiness planner) I think it is important to embrace the sadness, to actually feel it, then you will be able to let it go.
It is always good to talk and I have my family and friends to turn to, and this blog to drive me to do bigger and better things. I don’t feel strong, but I know I won’t feel this way forever. For now I give in to when I am not feeling inspired, I read, I pin and just sometimes relax. The twins will be going to primary school full-time in a matter of months, and in the meantime I am hoping to continue to push my photography work. I started this blog not to be a full time Blogger, but to use as a living portfolio to gain an industry job. I suppose I am just writing this say don’t worry about it, and have an entry to look back on, because who knows what is around the corner. I hope in a years time I can look back at this entry, smile and think phew! I am so glad I got through that. Normal posts will resume tomorrow.
Adorngirl backstage photography see the original post