Twitter is by far my favourite social platform. Instagram is too much work because there is nothing instant about it. The picture that takes easily an hour to put together will barely get seen. FYI I found out 200 out of 4700 people even see my pictures, WTF?! Now my 100 likes don’t look so bad. Facebook is for chatting to family overseas and finding great memes. I gave up a long time ago on attributing the platform to my blog because again Facebook rigged the system, so barely anyone actually saw my posts. Don’t worry though, pay £7 then everyone will see it. Fu*k off. Are people still on Tumblr?

Blacks private members club

Pinterest is just for photography work. Now, I am just focusing on curating a good selection of secret boards where clients can express exactly what they want.  It is best to have a visual aid for exactly how they need the final image to look.  Twitter is my favourite platform because it’s all about having a personality and conversation. It’s the one platform that still promotes the sense of community, in real-time, and can be a great networking tool. As much as I love Twitter there is also a lot of bull shit on there. Thank god for the mute button, am I right? There are a lot of personalities, and it make me think about where I fall, and I wonder if you have noticed too, the different type of tweeters

The Moaner

Usually moaning is a good thing because it means the other person is definitely doing something right.  On Twitter right now, there seems to be this odd trend of these girls who really have nothing to say, but always seem to be complaining. I’m tired, I fed up, I’m bored. Bitch, so go to sleep, do something different, or go do something. I am all for a bit of a vent because it shows a bit more of the real you. Life isn’t perfect, and it is nice to know, it is not just you, having a crappy day. When it is practically every tweet, it just comes across as attention seeking.

The Instagrammer

The instagrammer is the person who is so hot on instagram, but really not much of a big deal on twitter. The difference in numbers between the platforms will always make you do a double take, just to make sure you have the right person. They recognise twitter is a good platform to be on, but their efforts are all about boasting about how great they are on instagram, and trying to divert you there.

The Single White Female

We all have that bitch who literally never comments or interacts with you, but as soon as they see you with something hot, they are straight on it. ooooh I love this, then make sure to tag the brand, because yes that’s how it works. A brand sees you comment and will also collaborate with you too. I had to block this one girl who had the gall to tag the PR ( I didn’t include them in the tweet), this looks so amazing...bitch didn’t even follow me, and was trying to muscle in on the work I had pitched, and done all the hard work. Just like the film, this girl is very likely to scroll through your account to follow the brands who have gifted you things, and will follow your friends, as they essentially want to be you.

Miss Popular

This tweeter is loved, it doesn’t matter what they tweet, people are engaged and interested. They are genuinely nice and you actively go their profile to see what they got up to that day. Holler! Dorkface, LabelsforlunchTalontedLex, Mat Buckets.

The Spammer

Their timeline is a choc-a-block of their blog link tweets. Seriously nothing but blog links, and what is super hilarious is how some of them are not even relevant. Hun,  adjust your hootsuite or whatever WordPress plugin you are using, because Christmas is long gone. They are completely checked out and genuinely believe people are interested in clicking to see more.

The Comedian

Their funny tweets whether intentional or not, are pure gold. They are so funny and somehow use those 140 characters to really crack you up. Think common black girl and Typical girl.  Innocent smoothies as a brand are meh, but whoever is running their twitter account always makes me smile, and want to retweet. Also the best twitter account in the world is Effi Mai.

The Favouriter

This person thinks that a favourite is a good enough response to a twitter conversation. Unless you have the same amount of followers as her or much, much more, don’t expect a reply any time soon. A favourite is all you are good enough for. They are quick to promote another ‘superstar’ blogger who will ironically favourite them, but its worth it, because one day they will all be friends and go on free trips together. Brands are the same. They are quick to be like oh thanks *insert mega blogger here. But you. You get a favourite for promoting their brand. well at least they saw we liked it.

The Positive one

This annoying person sprouts purely positive mantras, and sayings to get you pumped for the day. I get it, but there is something irksome about a timeline or others people’s words of wisdom. Come up with your own, not just ones you found randomly on instagram. The worst ones are when they are younger than me, bitch you haven’t lived, please don’t tell me to do you, I know that already. How about come back to me when you are actually successful, then sprout as much positive tripe when you want.

The Seller

The seller is quite similar to the spammer.  They disguise their rewardstyle affiliate links with a bt.ly and will say something like which should I buy? Girl, get paid. Please don’t try make out like you are actually helping anyone, or need help yourself.

The Latecomer

These bitches are so bolshie, I sorta like how  ghetto they are. There is a twitter chat that they obviously forgot about, but they still want the perks of being part of a twitter chat, so right at they end they are like…sorry I was busy doing blah blah blah, but here is the link to my blog, can’t wait to read yours.  Please don’t hold your breath they will not read your blog later.

I am sure there are more, and I have probably been each and every one of these at some stage ( except for the favouriter, bitch reply) Which twitter personality are you?