The other day I was having my conversation with my son about his day at school, he is not a big talker so these interactions are generally like pulling teeth, and more involves me asking and answering my own questions with a general nod from him for confirmation. I asked so what did you do with your friends today? and his face fell, and his eyes started to tear up and underneath his sniffles he mumbled he doesn't have any friends. My hear sank a little, I gave him a cuddle and wiped his tears and listed off a bunch of names that I remembered him mumbling in the past when he did let out a rush of air about his day. He admitted that yes, maybe he did only have two friends but I re-assured him that I in fact I only have two best friends, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Over time its best to realise that relationships truly are quality over quantity. Due to circumstance I haven't really had time to cultivate new friendships. My few rules for deciding if they are my true friends are
- Do they have my phone number? and do I have theirs?
- Would I be able to call them up and have a good cry about my problems?
- I can be myself without censorship ( as in I can speak my mind without the other person being overly sensitive, as everyone is entitled to their own opinion).
- When I have good news, are they the first person I want to tell?
- Do they think all the above qualities apply to me.
In a bubble of likes, squad goals and being associated with the right people that you can take the oh so perfect instagram shot with, I am glad to be removed from the desire to befriend ( suck up to) someone that has a huge social following to somehow get ahead. Without gushing about them too much, my first best friend is someone I have known for most of my life, we met at secondary school, and essentially I love her so much because she has a filthy mind, a dirty mouth and has the biggest heart. She is that best friend that you don't get to see much because of your busy lifestyles but when you do get together it is like no time has passed, and we both don't feel any way to admit do you want to go out? nah I don't want to put on a bra.
My second best friend is someone who I met at a beauty event dinner, and admittedly I couldn't remember her name the second time I bumped into her at another event ( in my defence she had pink hair, when she was originally blonde) since we exchanged numbers there hasn't been a day in around two years that we haven't talked. I love her because she is too much, she makes me laugh until my sides ache, she is pretty fabulous but she understands what is important in life. These relationships are something I cherish so much, and if I don't say enough, to these beautiful women, I couldn't be without you.
Mum if you are reading this, of course you are the most important women in my life and my best friend but let's get into that in another post.
*photograph was taken by me, original post was Tata Naka London AW11 fashion week presentation