you GOT THIS

==Seriously fuck the fear of missing out, in life, love and your career.  Believe me you are not missing out on anything. You get to see the best of what people choose to show, not the struggle, hard work, and sometimes out and out crap to get there. I can say this with the most absolute confidence because, who lived it knows it.  I was literally living a life of actually missing out since I was young. I never wore the right clothes or labels, I was never part of the 'in crowd.' We were so broke, sometimes we had one meal for that day. Lol I didn't even know what the concept of what elevensies was until I was grown. What do you mean tea? and WTF was supper? I was the only kid in my year 6 class that didn't go to the Isle of Wight, and that's  truly a feat because growing up in South east London, it's not like my classmates were flush.  I had to go in that week to year 5, sitting in lessons for subjects that were really easy for me, so without a challenge, all I could think of was all the fun my classmates were having. It didn't kill me obviously, it just made me determined to make sure that I wouldn't be in that position where I couldn't provide my child with the opportunities I didn't have. 


Fomo is such a bitch that I let it cloud my judgement when it came to my ex-husband.  I let it override my gut that I normally trust and hadn't let me down before.  My fear of missing out was rooted in growing up with an absent father, and my single mum struggling to pay bills. In my head it was such a personal failure if I were to end up as a single mum. Rubbish!  but I know that now, because I am flourishing, with four kids as a bonus. There was such a long list of red flags, disrespect and selfishness but one clanger was about two years before our inevitable divorce. This douche, told me he wasn't in love with me anymore. You are probably thinking that's not douche behaviour, everyone is entitled to their feelings, right?  Well he told me he wasn't in love with me anymore whilst we were on our way to a friends wedding.  It was out of London, we were kid-free and I wanted to check in early as the hotel was so nice, and we could spend some quality time together.

He decided he couldn't miss the Liverpool match and proceeded to watch it rather than spend time with me.  We barely made our pre-booked train, and on the train was when he decided to tell me.  Bastard couldn't even wait to after the wedding. So I had to smile, introduce the fuck to my friends, dance, and appear happy when I was basically broken inside.  Still didn't stop him trying to get a leg over that same night, though. See a douche. We had been together around 13 years at that point and I sure people would have looked at us and had FOMO. See it can be all bullshit.

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let's bring it back to blogging

Let's bring it back to blogging, and let me go back on myself, because the only time FOMO should be applied is when it can attribute to a personal ambition.  It can be that tool to give us a personal kick up the butt to get moving. My FOMO encouraged me to start blogging as I wanted to cultivate a career whilst I was a full-time mum.  I didn't want to wait until they started school full-time because I was scared that I would miss my window, to a dream job.  Again FOMO is relevant when you spot a trend like starting a YouTube channel, a new challenge, you see other people achieving, and think I would like to do that.  So do it! What are you waiting for?

A fear of missing out can overall do one, especially if you find yourself comparing yourself, and getting jealous of others accomplishments. Stop that now (like I already said in this post).  Work smart enough and what is meant for you, will come. Other Bloggers accomplishments are a great thing, because it means they are technically opening the door for you. If you wanted to write a book, become a signed model or be an ambassador for a major brand, its been such a success that it is possible for all of us.  I can't even tell you how many anxious days I had, when I couldn't attend press days, events and other opportunities, because I couldn't find childcare.  I laugh at myself now because over time I have learned it all comes back around.

 The best way to come to terms with the fear of missing out is really understanding that everything changes, there are limitless opportunities, that either come back around or you create for yourself. So I will say it again for the cheap seats in the back, Fuck the fear of missing out.


*Pictures and gifs are all mine and behind the scenes from the Halloween glam makeup shoot that I will be sharing with you soon.

Photography: Adorngirl// Styling : Fvshion Dvting// Makeup: Lauren Gayle // Model: Ann Tye

MusingsAshanti Jason